a post trying not to be about beauty, or even the lack of it, in an attempt at honesty

first pic of shadow, observed whilst sitting on the loo
 in our shower room 

edited version: with lace curtain drawn more open,
so the pattern becomes more visible
trying for more beauty!!

led to thoughts on beauty after having read days 31, 32 and 31 part 2 over at Grace's; beauty is in the eye of the beholder, beauty might have to do with context, it might even change with light, in just a few moments disappear altogether. An object or person could become beautiful, just by the sheer act of looking, of looking with intent, with the intention of seeing something, without prejudice, just looking with no thoughts no wanting no desire or need to compare. Beauty can be found and seen everywhere and nowhere. Beauty is nothing, it's a word like ugliness and hatred and happiness, dog mankind tree butterfly and yet we associate the word with the thing, the emotion, with ourselves and our place in the world. 

hairs and unnameables caught in comb

We went for a walk in the woods after dinner this evening, the dog and me, the evenings are gradually lengthening, I'm smiling on the inside whilst I write this; with Grace's posts in mind, I had made a conscious decision before I left not to take any pictures of beautiful scenery, not of the light of the setting sun, which was breathtaking, nor of the golden glow on the fields. I wasn't trying to capture any of this on camera, just walking and enjoying it despite myself, ha, looking for non-beauty -  a label, it can't be helped when trying to explain in words what I sought.

what I found: a bit of plastic fluttering in the breeze and because of the fluttering, the fact that it was caught and helpless: the bravery of the fluttering plastic.........beautiful, I'm sorry 

a yellow plastic disc stuck in the mud: a bright sun, more beauty. 

There is no escaping the possibility of finding beauty where you least expect it. And yet, and yet, why the need for labeling it 'beauty-full', perhaps it is a way of seeing the world that surrounds me, emphasizing what feeds me and perverting that which is out-of-place into something I can uphold? Maybe I notice a speck of beauty where others see only ugliness and vice versa? Who knows what the other sees? In a strange way I also find solace in the ugliness of life, of my life and the struggle living can often be. With headaches, small irritants and major disasters and always the unforseen and at times the unwanted.....

On our way out of the woods we saw a roedeer and I was relieved I didn't have to try capturing it on camera, because the animal is beautiful and my phone/camera cannot catch it...haha so I could just stand there and watch and be there with the roedeer jumping through the underbrush and past the naked trees and follow the white bum with my eyes, just breathing in and out with Tungsten sniffing the scents nearby.

I'm not sure I have found an answer here, it is as it is.