huge sadness

The times are weird for sure. Despite managing this quarantine life style rather well on a personal level, it is disruptive none the less. In ways I cannot quite fathom.
Today I feel deeply sad, not just because of everything ‘out there’ but because of grief hitting us much closer to home.
Last evening I heard a family member died, one of my Danish cousins’ son passed away; he was roughly the same age as our boys. Not corona-related. Simply put: tragic, there are no other words, or if there are I cannot find them. I usually want to bring joy here, but there just isn't much left now. There is great comfort in being able to hug my men, walk with Django and hold onto cloth, truly this keeps me going. Creating tangible beauty, however superficial that may seem, offers consolation. The ability to touch - so sorely missed these days - is immensely reassuring, listening to Jude's voice's raining softly today, tenderly nourishing our garden.

 I had thought the patching was done, only by laying it on the table do I realise my mistake: more colour fields are needed 


indigo dye? a friend gave me a blue powder from Marrakesh, claiming it's indigo; after a long dip, several forgotten weeks in fact, without any change of colour it seemed, I left the bits of cotton to dry in the sun

lo and behold a flower or a broken heart
maybe both

one of my all time favourites Blackbird by Paul McCartney
may you stay safe and well xx


Liz A said…
oh dear Saskia ... I am so deeply sorry for your sadness, gfor your family's loss ... Blackbird is such a tender sweet song, like rain it nourishes, even as it tugs on the heart

may you be well
Marti said…
Sadness, how it comes and wraps itself around us and we simply sit with it until the time when we can come up for air. i am so sorry for your family loss, please accept my deepest condolences Saskia. Somehow at this time in the world, whatever we can do, create our art, cook, sing, hug our children, husbands,pets, walk outside and hold deep memories, well it is what we need to do. Let your sadness come when it comes and know that we send you hugs from all over the world.
Dana said…
I am so sorry for this loss in your family, Saskia. The death of young people is especially hard to bear. Sadness indeed.

Thank you for Blackbird. It is one of my favorites.
Saskia said…
heartfelt thank you ((Liz))
heartfelt thank you ((Marti))
heartfelt thank you ((Dana))
I don't have more to say right now
jude said…
so sorry for the loss.
young death is so hard.
love to you, all
Ms. said…
I know this sadness too. Personal loss and the general losses of so many beings accumulates. Dear Saskia. Love to you and yours and all who visit here.
Saskia said…
heartfelt thank you ((Grace))
heartfelt thank you ((Mo))
heartfelt thank you ((Jude))
heartfelt thank you ((Michelle))
love to all
Patty said…
I love this song. No words help when a young one is cut off from his
future. Just grief. So very sad.
Saskia said…
heartfelt thank you ((Patty))
love to you
deemallon said…
Saskia... I am so sorry for your loss. How to make sense of a young person’s death? Wishing you peace in the days to come.
Saskia said…
heartfelt thank you ((Dee))
love to you too
Hazel said…
Dear Saskia, I'm so sorry for you and your family. Hoping you and yours are being held in comfort and love.
Saskia said…
heartfelt thank you ((Hazel)) xxx

to all: in these weirdest of times we 'see' each other on of the hardest things to deal with personally is not being able to go to Denmark and be with the family, whilst here in The Netherlands not being free to travel south to our parents and hug them; our mother in particular is very close to my bereaved cousin.
It's a cruel world where staying away is an act of love....
buysse maria said…
Saskia Warme omarming ,
Saskia said…
((Maria))ook jij een warme omhelzing xx



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