up close and personal


plants overwintering on North-facing window sill in our sitting room, the swallow's not real, it's one of those bird protection stickers, to prevent birds from flying into the glass panes; the whites on the grass out back are hundreds of snowdrops


found this drawing from 2017(?) in one of my many sketchbooks, where I scribble all sorts in no particular order
how I sometimes feel: burdened by the load, the load of living & letting go
....
if I'm being pathetically honest




I made this light-weight flannel backed quilt for OBK; he wasn't feeling well and spent many hours in bed.
Last night as I tucked him in he whispered to me: " We've shared many good moments haven't we.... there were a couple of rough patches too, but the majority were good ones, Pjaske"*
I was moved to tears and had nothing to say, I just nodded and managed to mumble 'good night.'



Fortunately he's feeling a lot better today, well enough to get out of bed and try on this new velvet under-garment, made with Jude's velvet



one the most beautiful songs ever written
- in my opinion -









[* in fact these were words I overheard my dad say to my mum a few nights ago when I was staying with them as she's not well]
[Pjaske is my mum's pet name for me]




Comments

Nancy said…
Honest needs no adjective, it just is. I wish I knew how to say your pet name. So grateful OBK is on then mend. Sweet dreams to all. xo
Saskia said…
that is so sweet of you Nancy, thank you, it's difficult to put the exact right words to emotions..Pjaske's not easy to pronounce even for the Dutch, my mum made it up
Liz A said…
these days will stay with you, for better or worse ... my heart hurts for you and yours ... do take care
Saskia said…
very true Liz, it's weird how we as a family, with each seemingly sudden setback and her dropping down to another level of existence, if that makes sense for you Liz, within the panic regain immediate control to deal with the new situation on the practical side of things, however the emotions run riot and change from moment to moment....for now things have found a new equilibrium..and I can breathe again and be back in my own life....until the next bump
fortunately my sister, brother and I get on really well and are on the same page
thank you for caring
Mo Crow said…
(((Saskia))) you have such a beautiful heart!
Saskia said…
Thank You (((Mo))) you are kind

my first reaction was 'no, I don't....because I know all my unkind thoughts and remember many evil deeds, but then I said to self: just say Thank You and try and live up to Mo's comment'

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