even more here
on our drive Robinia pseudoacacia in full bloom, the fragrance is intoxicating
apart from attracting bees and insects this particular tree is home to a pigeon couple, I can tell you they shit all over my car! so much so I went to the car wash today and paid the poor guy double for all his trouble getting it clean, I have now parked my car where my husband tends to park his (seeing he is away today I grabbed at this opportunity)
bumble bees have moved into the birch bird house on our porch, they make a lot of noise and are rather messy, they seem to be completely indifferent to our presence
have been feeling 'off' these past few days, I thought it was the heavy weather, but it's not that; I began painting and what do you know, before my eyes the mystery unfolded: it's my birthday tomorrow and I miss my mama, it is grief, plain and simple, weird how it caught me off-guard like that
titles from left clockwise on:
'bring me flowers, bring me birds' 'birdheadbird' 'cycle-of-life' 'please mommy come back to life'
a walk in the woods last evening with Django
a friend dropped by on Monday with literally a bucket full of tulips, the guy in the market stall where she'd gone to buy some, was giving them away towards the end of the day....tulips, my mama's favourite flower in her favourite vase
one of my favourite viewpoints on our walk
Comments
Happy Birthday dear Saskia, a hug, with love, to you on your birthday.
Sadness and joy, it all is part of it. The bittersweet moments of the first celebrations after a loss. Two months after my Mom died, our nephew was getting married and I did not want to go. It would be a time of fun and laughter and dancing and I was in no mood but then I realized how much she loved celebrations, so we went and had a good, loving time.
I was 34 when I celebrated my first birthday without my Mom and that morning I found myself thinking how much she loved celebrations, good food, music and dance, flowers, so I baked a simple little lemon cake, made a little sign that said,said, Feliz Cumpleanos Marti y Mama...a cake for me and my Mom.
The tulips, her vase, these are your "cake."
Well this is the way it is and it's okay to grieve and some days miss, all part of life. And you are right about the vase and tulips: they are my cake;-)
I hope your day was/is gentle
the weather was weirder still: massive downpour for hours and now the sun is peeking from behind the clouds, the birds are singing once again and I feel fine
I think I will have a party next year
I don't think those surprise hits of grief ever stop. 'please mommy come back to life' is so poignant for me, even though it's been almost 8 years since my mom passed.
I know just the feeling that you speak of and paint so well...my heart feels your heart this morning.
Your walking spots are so lovely and seeing Django on the path...what a grand companion to travel with.
May you celebrate the love that surrounds you on the day of your birth! Sending love 😘
I took several plants from our parents' garden, two oleanders in pots, not great for our garden but hey, we will give them a go, I replanted several lily-of-the-valley bulbs, a pink geranium and some small campanula, they are struggling I have to admit as our garden has much more shade and well established growth!
it was good to feel what I felt this week, all part of life&death cycle
again, thanks for being here