many quotes, because I am not alone

18 books read so far in 2026

There are always several others lying about which I flick through, read a poem or two, maybe a chapter here and there, artists' catalogues and 'how-to' books, I think you know what I mean, I live between books. Never do I read novels simultaneously, I have to finish one before I can start another.

excerpt from The Book of Records by Madeleine Thien

"Baruch (Spinoza) had a terrible foreboding that he could love Pierke but not save him.

'I want my child to be with God,' Pierke said. 'To be held with kindness and benevolence in a better world.'

'It is our bodies alone that suffer.'

'And the soul?' Pierke asked.

Baruch said nothing.

'There is no soul, that's what you believe. My child has no soul. We're superfluous in this universe.'

'The world doesn't belong to us,' Baruch  said, 'but we belong to it. I am certain of this.'

(....)

'You think you can't go on.'

'I can't, Baruch.'

'Believe me when I tell you we are all a piece of that lasting thing, existence. Me, you, and your dear, beautiful son. Even though we are mortal. Because we are mortal. I believe, and I hope you too will come to believe, that we hold within us the remedy to sorrow."

I know there's a lot of hullabaloo on social media, and there are laws-in-the-making aiming to protect vulnerable youngsters, but I must admit to stumbling upon something useful, inspirational even every once in a while.

Scrolling on Instagram led me to Dr. James Pennebaker.

I had never heard of him or any of his practices, not that I'm aware of at least. What caught my attention was the claim that you could rid yourself of your trauma in 4 days! Set the timer for 20 minutes for 4 days, sit down and get to writing about your trauma. The brain finishes what happened.

As far as I understood (I couldn't be bothered with any more research on the internet, I was roaring to go) the trauma is embedded in the amygdala, the primitive part of your brain; the writing 'moves' the trauma to the prefrontal cortex. The trauma is 'captured' as it were in words which is how your brain is capable of processing the trauma. Well here goes nothing, I thought. 

The image below was made on day 1 of this exploration. 

Nancy's comment in the previous post: 'There is a curious sadness in the last painting. Mmm?' was spot on

mother will you hold me?

Five days later - I had to skip a day's writing 'cos I was away all Friday - and I have found said practice to be true. 

A weight I had not realised I was dragging along for so long has been lifted, no it has disappeared; the fog at the back of my mind: gone. The anger toward myself evaporated into thin air. I feel light, relieved. I am in love with the world. Suddenly I can look at myself with compassion and smile, laugh even. All those persons I felt were to blame: compassion, love..... 

As I woke up this morning, in my mind's eye I held an image of Buddha experiencing his lightbulb moment, click click click I guess that is what a glimpse of enlightenment might look like.

I wonder if any of you have tried this method, the therapeutic practice of expressive writing* is what it is, as I have now discovered on the internet, and whether or not it worked for you? 

I entered my studio this afternoon as I had intended to write a new post and maybe do some painting. But first I wanted to enjoy my lunch whilst watching something interesting on You Tube and found myself listening to Gen Kelsang Gamlan on The Modern Buddhism podcast.

 "I grieved for 20 years....until I learned this' seemed to echo my own recent awakening.

my jottings:

'Loss itself does not have the power to give us pain.

Where does pain come from: attachment.

All the pain that's associated with loss, no matter what loss it is, it's our reaction to loss.

Any loss is not coming from the loss itself, but our reaction, our reaction is coming from our attachment to that object.

What is grief?

So you don't try to fix yourself right away. (very important to let yourself grieve)

Understanding the pain is the beginning of healing. 

The pain comes from the mind, so the healing must also come from the mind. 

External attachment = cause of my happiness = a delusion.

Attachment = delusion = produces pain.

The actual cause of happiness is within me'

Moving my body brings me joy: swimming walking dancing making love yoga painting making learning new things, the human body is a wonderful sensuous entity.

How yet another thing leads me down another interesting path. My friend J. suggested I watch the series Kijken met Caspers; along with her sketchbook and curious mind artist Charlotte Caspers* investigates the fields of art, nature and science. 

My favourite episode is the one about Algae and seaweeds where I learned about Miek Zwamborn; a Dutch author/artist/translator who after falling in love with a huge seaweed now resides on the Isle of Mull with her partner Rutger Emmelkamp. Visit their site KnockVologan here. I do look forward to reading her book Onderling.

bookblurb: 'In Onderling Miek Zwamborn explores the wilderness that surrounds her. By surrendering herself to the elements, immersing herself in the oral tradition, hiking, swimming and foraging she hopes to acquire a sense of home on the southern tip of the Isle of Mull.'

The Lichenpedia* is something I stumbled upon when browsing in the online bookstore for Onderling. Goes without saying I needed this too.

.

'are we going on a BigAdventure?' Piglet asks

'you bet we are!' Doggie replies

'Hold on everyone' cries Boss

and off they trot-trot-trot.....