middle class angst

I particularly like it rolled up into a bundle

a couple of days a month I feel down, or should I say, there are moments during certain days when I feel sadder than usual or circumstances warrant, not that I feel sad most of the time, quite the contrary, most of the time I am okay
okay with being here, noticing small stuff, catching glimpses of the big picture, aware of the continual suffering of wo/mankind, accepting more and more how this is part of A life, however unimportant I am, anyone is; this One Life we are given as a human being; that emotions are fleeting and you do not have to indulge each and every up or down, let them pass
anyway, those moments when I really feel this existential pain (no longer menstruation related as it's been a year now since I had my last period, I sense it is cyclic nonetheless) I also feel the need to express this in a material form, in actual matter, cloth for instance, and what I hope to achieve is an object that can remind me of what it was that I felt, whilst at the same time offering comfort, something along the lines: that was then, this is now, all kinds of stuff happens....and guess what, you are still here

p.s. I have more to add, and will do so later on


susan hemann said…
lovely scarf! Just the other day I was questioning if I still can get PMS after menopause. I still have the same hormonal changes each month, haven't had time to do some research on the subject- it's frustrating because I think am I the only one? Will my doctor believe me or think....whatever
Saskia said…
hi Susan, what does it matter what the doctor says? you sense it, right. or do you require medication of sorts?? I don't medicate, just go with the flow (pardon the pun)
Mo Crow said…
the comfort of stitch honouring your crone time
Sue McQ said…
Seems to me there are cyclical matters going on in our bodies despite what is typically attributed to them. Some things are felt and cannot be put into words.
Anonymous said…
your words capture so much, here. change is part of life and so is sadness, is what I'm reading. and so is your capacity to shift perspectives and keep a healthy awareness of the bigger picture.

one thing I keep wondering about is how much of my sadness about time's passage has to do with the empty nest. Aren't I supposed to be 'past it' by now? The way I have responded doesn't match up with others in particular because this last year has been harder than all the others... It makes no sense. I'm glad you're recording so much love and awareness through your work.
for me...the key word here is indulge. The sadnesses ARE there...they
exist equally to any happiness. I think to fully notice them, to
honor them, and then not INDULGE in Holding. To stay as long as
seems right and then let them float. The advice of not pulling toward
or pushing away.
Dana said…
My periods stopped a long time ago (can't remember the exact year anymore) but I still have cyclical mood swings. I think hormones continue to ebb and flow like the tides and your method of letting it happen without attachment is the best way to handle it. Its like being rocked in the waves of life.
Your fabric is gorgeous.
Marti said…
Very much into my crone hood, (I turned 70 this year), I find cyclical mood swings to be more tied into seasons now, than when I was younger. A distinct difference now as I have gotten older is that the big picture used to demand that I find solutions, that I take action...now, it is enough to acknowledge and channel my energy into what I can accomplish, no matter how small my effort may appear to be BUT I will say that since I have grandchildren, I want the world to be kinder, safer, more open and at times, feel that immense urge to YELL and take to the streets...so I am still a bit mixed in my responses...
Anonymous said…
hey saskia , kom je nog eens langs
yes it is a still time for me , to match idea and than i sit still and let it be , the focus will come at his moment ;knuffel groetjes maria
Liz A said…
Just came by to say hi ... and to say yet again how much I love your cloth and your words.



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